January 2007 Newsletter

January 2007 Newsletter

Time to head back to Annai…

Happy New Year!! 2007 already? Where does time go? Well, as I have mentioned, going home was a lot of fun. I left Chicago on the 2nd, and I got back into Annai on the 6th. I had to stay a night in Trinidad, a night in Georgetown, and a night in Lethem before finally travelling back to Annai by bus. I had to go to Lethem because the weather was bad in Annai, so we couldn’t land there. There were only 2 of us aboard this small aircraft that had a pilot that was really into what must have been a good book…He read, I nervously sat behind him watching the dials on the dashboard (is it called a dashboard?). The wonders of autopilot are wonders I prefer to be kept behind that charming door in the front of the aircraft with the small metal sign engraved with the words “Crew Only”. It was nice to be able to stop in Lethem before heading back to Annai though because I got to see the WTV’s there, so that made it the extra night worthwhile.

When I left Chicago I knew I had to come back, but a part of me didn’t want to go. However, the other part of me couldn’t wait to get back to the calm life I find in Annai where on the weekends I get to lay around reading a good book in my hammock, go on a bike ride or maybe a hike, and just relax and let the world take me where it will instead of having a mile long list of stuff I have to do because in some way I feel obligated by a world which compels to me to feel like I should be a productive and responsible citizen. I love not having errands to run; although there is always lesson plans to be completed…I do love it here though and really want to enjoy this while I can, although it has not been as easy as it sounds. I have found myself wishing time away and thinking more about home than the experience I should be living in as it is presenting itself. Maybe the predicament is so due to the fact that one day I was in Chicago, where I can get anything and everything that I pretty much need or want, the next I was in the middle of nowhere with very little.

Journal entry 1/4/07

“…This is real life for me right now and for the next 6 months I want to live in every day fully conscious o f this experience and not sitting there thinking and wondering about what the next experience holds for me. What’s the point of dreaming of all these things I want to do and be if I am constantly living in the next moment while the present moment, which is a dream come true, is passing me by.”

Journal entry 1/6/07

“…but now that I am once again in my room and under my bug net on my nasty sheets that have been pissed and shit on by bats for the past 3 weeks, I feel at home and comfortable, like I belong here and need to be here. But I definitely have to wash my sheets in the morning.”


Let the water flow…

The first thing that Jess showed me when we got up on Saturday morning was that there was a trickle of water coming out of the faucet in the kitchen sink! Whoa…gone for 3 weeks and life as I knew it had dramatically changed!! Running water, or at least a sign that made me believe that it could be possible! That only lasted about a day or two. While we were gone over Christmas break they had installed a water tank that catches the water from the roof and gutters when it rains!! When there is water in it we don’t have to go down to the well to fetch it for all the mundane little tasks that require water, like flushing the toilet. There is nothing like the feeling you have as you walk to the well to fetch water just to flush…actually we always flush with the dirty dish water (we are now huge advocates of water conservation if not by choice, then by default), but indirectly you can see what I mean. We never much minded having to run to the well, but it is nice to now only have to go for drinking water…everything in the universe likes to exist at the lowest energy level possible, right? It is therefore innate in me that I take pleasure in this new tank.

By the end of the month they had installed a water pump that pumps water from the clean well (there are 3 wells in total on the compound-1 down the hill just outside the gates, which is the only clean one that can be drunk from, and 2 behind the student dorms, which are dirty) up to the school when the generator is on. This means that the showers (well one of the showers) work!!! And I must say that even though I got to shower while I was in Chicago, it was enjoyable to be afforded the luxury of a shower here! So anyways, the saga continues. When they put the pump in they sealed off the well, since the pump was so expensive. Based on the tales you have already heard up to this point of my adventure here, do you see what the problem is on the horizon? …That’s right, our generator breaks frequently and we run out of gas for it even more frequently. The first term it seemed like if we did have gas, the generator was broke, and then in fixing the generator they used all the gas…It would be worked out, but the cycle would start again after a day or two, maybe a week if we were lucky. So they install this water pump, seal the well, and the generator breaks….uh-oh…200+ people on the school compound and no access to clean drinking water. What do we do now? Thank God for our amazing Headmistress (HM) who sat on the radio trying to call the Ministry in Georgetown for the greater part of two days, threatening to break the seal on the well if they didn’t take action, and take it QUICK. Why some high ranked official would make such a hasty decision without thinking it thoroughly through instead of being more pragmatic in the face of wanting change and “progress” and realistically assess the circumstances at hand was beyond me…It was kind of stressful, but in the end it worked out well. It was February first when they finally fixed it…

Ohhhh, back to shhcool…

I ended up missing the first week back at school since I was in transit, but I didn’t miss much. I was not the only teacher that was en route during this first week. It was disheartening to quiz my students and try to just get them to recall the terms and topics we had covered in the last term. They all looked at me with blank faces like I had just spoken to them in Yiddish. Even those that I thought were my brightest students made me wonder if they had retained any of the information I felt like we had worked hard on learning last term. It made me feel like I had completely failed, as a teacher, and I doubted that I had even taught them anything at all. There were times in the first few weeks back that I found myself feeling angry with them, like I was wasting time trying to teach to students that at times do not seem to give their future much thought, and therefore, their opportunity to get an education seems unimportant and unappreciated. Then I would try to take a second and remember my own self at this age, and I wondered if my teachers thought the same thing about me when they saw me sporting my new Christmas threads, gossiping with my friends, and completely unaware that I was in school to get an education, and only partly there to be socialized. We took about a week to review and those students that worked were able to pull their knowledge of Biology and Science out of the corners of their minds where it had been stored over break.

When I wasn’t frustrated with the lack of effort I felt I was seeing, I did realize that there were a lot of students that I really missed while I was gone, but when I would excitedly inquire about their break, especially the students who seem to not like being away from home for so long, they would say-“ah, it was okay” or just say outright that they did not enjoy their break. It was most of the students that I asked that would respond like this, and so I stopped asking, confused about what it takes to please these kids. Maybe it’s just a cultural difference and they don’t react to things the way I would expect, I don’t know, but it got to a point where I would rather imagine that they all had a satisfying few weeks at home with their families the way I had hoped they would when we were all headed home in December.

Journal entry 1/26/07“…

"...I wonder if I can really do this with a positive attitude. I know part of why I feel this way is that I am just feeling like these people JUST DON’T CARE and I wonder if I could be more useful putting my energy somewhere else, into a cause greater than this, into something that will actually make a difference. But hopefully somewhere and in someone here that is a mystery to me at this point I am making a small difference…
…some of them just give up so easily that you wonder how they are ever going to make it when it is their generation’s turn to be the people out there making decisions. It’s almost like I feel that it is inevitable that this region is going to become inundated with foreign companies coming to “develop” the area…”

Until February…

Well, that is January in a nutshell. I hope everyone is enjoying what 2007 has brought to you at this point, and that if you are in an area that has a season they call “winter” you are keeping warm. I was glad that the weather was pretty mild while I was home, but I do find myself wishing for a change of season!! It just feels like it has been one long summer!

Until next time, take care, and try to keep on the sunny side in the dead of winter!